


Zombie Survival Plan

by PieHeda



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Sweet, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:05:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9352481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieHeda/pseuds/PieHeda
Summary: In response to the prompt "If a zombie bit you, I'd be heartbroken, but I'd also shoot you twice in the head" for Toltzmann, requested by AudreyV.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AudreyV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreyV/gifts).



> This is a stand-alone. It may fit in with my other Toltzmann fics, but is not related to any other Ghostbusters fic I've done.

“If a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken. But I’d also shoot you twice in the head.” Patty set two beer bottles on the coffee table next to the TV remote. She placed two fingers against her own temple. “Double-tap. Get it over with fast.”

Holtzmann hopped over the back of the couch and plopped down next to Patty, managing to only spill a little popcorn.

“Could you do that?” she said.

“What, you wouldn’t do the same thing?” Patty took a handful of popcorn, and ate them a piece at a time.

“No! I would keep you and take care of you.”

“What? Like Michonne with her boyfriend and his best friend? Would you cut off my jaw and lead me around on a chain? Because honestly I’d prefer you just shoot me in the head.”

Holtzmann cocked her head to the side. “That’s Michonne’s boyfriend and his best friend? Is that in the show?”

“It was in the comics. But they also did a flashback scene on the show.”

“Huh. I don’t remember that. But no, I wouldn’t cut your jaw off! That’s gross. It would be more like Shaun and Ed.”

Patty frowned. “Who? I don’t remember no Shaun and Ed on Walking Dead.”

“No! Shaun of the Dead. I’d keep you like his best friend, Ed. And we’d play video games together.” Holtzmann grinned and shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

Patty laughed. “Baby, if I’m a zombie, I don’t know how I’m gonna feel about us playing Left 4 Dead together. That’s gotta be racist, or something.”

“It doesn’t have to be a zombie game!” Holtzmann said.

“Ed wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the box, Holtz. It’s not like he was all that different as a zombie.”

“I’m not saying the relationship wouldn’t be complicated,” said Holtz through a mouthful of popcorn. “It would definitely have to be open, for one thing. I’m not letting a zombie eat me.” She paused, and raised a finger. “Both meanings of the word ’eat’.”

Patty frowned. “Still not seeing how this makes me something other than your zombie pet.”

“Zombie _partner_ ,” Holtzmann corrected. “Zombie wife? Zombie bride! You know, in sickness and in health! Because it’s a virus. Maybe they’ll find a cure. And until then I’d take care of you and feed you all the rotted meat you want, and we’d play video games, and…”

“And you’d fuck Erin after you lock me up in my zombie kennel at night,” said Patty.

“What?” Holtzmann made a face. “No!” She chomped on another handful of popcorn. “It would definitely be Abby. We have a history. And she’s still got the hots for me.” She winked at Patty.

“Well, that does sound easier than having to put a bullet in your handsome head,” said Patty, running her fingertips through the hair at Holtzmann’s temple. “And that seems like the right way to honor you. Trust in science to come up with an answer. And find me a piece on the side while I wait.”

“See?” said Holtzmann. “And then _you_ could fuck Erin after we play video games for the day…”

“Girl is too uptight for me.”

“…or Abby…”

“I don’t feel like that would work for us, though I dunno, she was with you. Might be sides of Abby I haven’t seen.”

“Oh, are there ever! There’s always Ke…”

“DON’T SAY KEVIN.” Patty tried to look angry, but couldn’t help but laugh. “He pretty for sure, but he’s a big box of dumb.”

“See, that almost works better for me,” Holtzmann said, cuddling against Patty’s neck. “Knowing that even as your zombie bride, you’re not with someone smarter than me.”

“Of course we’re not married, so there’s also that,” Patty said.

“Oh yeah,” said Holtzmann, and reached into the breast pocket of her shirt. “That’s why I asked about your zombie plan. I almost forgot.”

 She pulled a box out of her pocket, and hopped off the couch, landing in a crouch on one knee.

“Superhero landing! Will you marry me?”

As Patty stared at the gold band crusted with diamonds along the side, a series of emotions ran across her face. Holtzmann noted silently to herself that it was like watching the tumblers on a slot machine, and waited anxiously to see which one she stopped on.

Patty shook her head. “Holtzy, baby,” she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

Holtzmann’s face fell.

“You beautiful nerd.”

Holtzmann lit up with a huge grin.

“Yes. A hundred times yes, baby.”

Holtzmann placed the ring on her finger and hopped into Patty’s open arms.

“ _This_ is why you asked about my zombie plan?” Patty said between kisses.

“These are important things to know about your future spouse,” said Holtzmann.

“We’re gonna miss the show,” whispered Holtzmann a few minutes later. Sweat glistened on her pale skin. She rose and fell rhythmically, guided by Patty’s strong hands on her hips.

Patty wrapped her arms around Holtzmann’s waist, pulling her closer and thrusting deeper into her with the toy as she did so. She smiled at Holtzmann’s cry of delight as she did so.

“We’ll watch it later,” she said, and ran her tongue along Holtzmann’s jaw. “Not even on my mind right now.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Well. That surprised the hell out of me. I really didn't see this prompt going THERE, but then it did. I've had the characters want to run off and do their own thing before, but Holtz really bolted away from me on this one, with a victory lap for extra measure. 
> 
> I feel like I owe the Yatesmann fans an explanation - or perhaps the Yatesmann fan that is me - that this does NOT MEAN that my Yatesmann ended and then this happened. I still ship the hell out of them. But yeah. Apparently zombies equal Holtzmann proposal.
> 
> This was a Tumblr prompt. I love getting prompts! If you love giving them, or just want to chat, I'm at http://pieheda.tumblr.com/.


End file.
